ebb and flow

It seems that people are still checking in on me here, so I thought I'd write an update.

It's nice to be at Esalen for the holidays. Christmas comes and goes. Everything more or less stays the same. Sure there were Christmas carols, but mostly it was just another day at Esalen. I'm grateful for the gifts I'm constantly being given at Esalen, the friendships, the conversations, and the constant ebb and flow of the ocean and life all around me.

I participated in a sweat lodge ceremony a few weeks ago. In the same day I went on an 8 mile hike along the coast and later danced into the night to some amazing live jazz by musicians from New Orleans. My life and my heart are full.

Last week Esalen was closed completely to the public. With only the staff at Esalen, we're invited to let loose. The week started with a party at the hot tubs. Incredible DJ's like Laird and Brother to drop a few names showed up with their bad ass beats. Sea goddesses covered in seaweed, silk dancers hanging from the trees, faerie poets reinforcing the fact that "breathe is life." It was one of the those amazing nights that you never want to end.... And then came the sunrise. Glorious.

This weekend is New Year's. As I look back at 2005, I think it's been one of the best, most transformative years of my life. Now it seems that life is finally beginning to move forward for me. I'm excited to start this new year. I feel like I have a lot to accomplish, and it's scary and a little intimidating, but I'm up for the challenge.

Have a very safe and happy New Year friends.

Soul of the African Drum

I took a weekend workshop at Esalen on African drumming. I had the best time and now I'd love to get myself a djembe so I can keep practicing all the rhythms I learned.

Gun-Go-Do, Gun-Go-Do, Gun-Go-Do-Go-Do-Gun, Gun-Go-Do-Go-Do-Gun-Pa-Ta!

We had a drumming ceremony on the final day of the workshop. All of us dressed in white drumming in a circle, singing traditional African songs, and praising Yemaya, Mother Goddess of the Ocean. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. I felt like I could drum forever!

Esalen Kid's Art Program

In the Esalen catalog, I'm always looking for the art workshops. This one caught my eye... what a perfect way to introduce Daphne and Begonia to this incredible place. And right after Daphne's birthday too, it was all too perfect.

The girl's mother, Laura, brought them down to Big Sur so they could spend the weekend with me here. It was so nice finally spending time with them again. And in the context of an art workshop at that! We made beautiful glass mosaics in the Art Barn and flower mandalas on the lawn. We hiked through the canyon during the day and sat around the campfire drumming and singing at night. I couldn't have asked for a better way to share Esalen with the girls.

It was hard saying good bye. It felt like good closure though, as well as the start of new relationships between the three of us.

January 2005 @ Esalen

It's been another month full of lessons at Esalen. I decided to participate in a theater games and improvisation workshop for the month. I thought this would be a good way to challenge myself. What better place to face my fears than in an environment as safe as Esalen.

It's been a rewarding month, maybe most of all because of the inherent hardships within. In my time here, I feel I've gained immeasurable confidence and a greater sense of being self-assured. I think the most important lesson I've taken is to speak my truth at all times, no matter the cost.

Now I'm leaving Esalen and heading off into the unknown. I'd like to return as an intern at their preschool, but my future with Gazebo is still uncertain. In any case, I'm grateful to Esalen for all I've been taught, the friendships I've made, and for the seemingly endless love and support it has provided.

December 2004 @ Esalen

I started the year out right here at Esalen. Forty of us gathered together on New Year's Day in the yoga dome for yoga mala all practicing sun salutations in unison. One hundred and eight sun salutations, to be exact. Four rounds of twenty-seven, the first for the self, the second for our relationships, the third for the world, and the fourth for our connection to spirit. The energy in the dome was palpable, to say the least. Tears of both sadness and joy flowed freely amongst our kula.

Practicing yoga over this last month has given me a lot of insight into my strengths and my weaknesses, my pleasures as well as my fears. I hope to continue to deepen my yoga practice because I've never felt more healthy and more alive in my life.

November 2004 @ Esalen

On my quest for knowledge and self-discovery, I decided to become a work scholar at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. The program for the month of November has to do with dealing with transitions in life. Always we're in transition, and I'm learning that how you deal with transition can reveal a lot about who you are. I'm obviously facing a difficult transition period in my life, and I feel that Esalen is exactly where I need to be right now.

This month has been an important step for me, I think. I'm on my way to discovering my path. I'm grateful for all that I've learned here at Esalen so far. This place is special and it's been a truly rewarding experience. I have no doubt that the friendships and bonds I've made here will last a lifetime. Beyond that, I feel deeply connected to the land and the ocean here in Big Sur. If home is where the heart is, I am definitely at home.